Well..my story isn’t quite as dramatic as some, I suppose, but it was wrenching for me.
My parents were not religious in any sense of the word, except at Christmas and Easter..then they went “Lutheran”.
As a teen, I tried church. I tried the occult. I even tried drugs and alcohol. All seemed to have about the same effect-a means to numb me to reality.
At 20, I “found Jesus”..or did he find me? I spent 23 years in a love/hate dysfunctional marriage with him. The seperation began years ago, but the divorce was final in July of 2003.
I had the usual hurts perpetuated by church members, the “good” Christians..I was never good enough. I had three “illegitimate” children, afterall. No “good” man would ever want me.
But, that wasn’t why I left. It was doctrinal issues..a real crash of beliefs. It was one of those internet debates, gone terribly wrong. Preterist vs. futurist beliefs. Both sides made sense..I was like one of the computers on Star Trek..”that is illogical. does not compute..illogical..illogical..”
Total burnout, meltdown and finally, realization that it was all BS. So, no drama. Just logic. Contradictions led to an intelligent decision that no “god” would write such confusion, ergo, “god” must not exist.
I’m not a complete atheist though. I don’t believe there is a “higher power” in control of this madness we call life on earth. I believe WE are in control..and we set up the chaos and madness..WE are the god we search for in the holy books and the “heavens”.
So, there it is. In a nutshell. Of course, the actual meltdown was more emotional..but that was nearly 4 years ago..now there is no emotion attached to any of it. Yes, I still have emotions, just not about religion/spirituality. If it works for you, great! If not, perhaps its time to try something else?