LIFE AFTER THE MINISTRY: An Interview with Jim and Tammy Schoch

Twenty-five years ago the Schochs began working as paid ministers. Six years ago they quit. Today their daughter Lydia finds out what life outside of the ministry has been like for them.

What have you been doing in the six years since closing down your last church?

Jim: Enjoying life family friends a lot more … selling houses … driving school bus.

Tammy: I increased my working hours in nursing to full time. I worked for three years at an inpatient psychiatric unit, and then for the last three years at an outpatient community mental health center.

Do you still attend a institutional form of church?

Jim: For social reasons but not weekly.

Tammy: Yes, about 2-3 times a month. Not nearly as much as before.

What do you miss the most about leading a church?Jim: Not much … maybe the carry in dinners.

Tammy: There are very few regulating agencies over churches. So when you want to make a change in a church it’s easier to do. My entire job now in mental health has to do with keeping the various regulating agencies satisfied with our policies, procedures, performance, and outcomes.

What parts of the job were you glad to give up?Jim: All parts.

Tammy: The 2 am phone calls from people who refused to get help elsewhere but thought it was acceptable to repeatedly call their pastor at that ungodly hour.

The pressure on me and my children to be the perfect family, so everyone could look to us as examples of what is possible if God is in the picture.

The lack of good medical insurance.

The way people think that their opinions on spiritual things are so important that we should force everybody else to think just like them.

The myth that Sunday is a day off for a pastor’s family.

The disapproval I felt from people when I pursued interests other than church.

Yeah, I remember how hectic Sundays could be when I was a kid: a few hours of church in the morning, long lunches and/or visits with other church leaders in the afternoon, and then a few more hours of church again in
the evening. While the Sabbath was often enjoyable it was anything but a day of rest for our family. What are Sundays like for you these days?

Jim: Much more fulfilling and relaxed.

Tammy: About once a month, we go somewhere fun that comes up – like a family reunion, a day at a festival, a weekend in Toronto visiting our daughter and son-in-law or even going to a different church to hear Jackie [Tammy’s sister] preach.

The rest of the time we go to church where Jim cooks food throughout the service and I get to hold babies in the nursery once a month. And I play with technology in the sound booth about once a month. We love doing this stuff because we don’t have to do it every week and we have no other stuff to deal that comes with being in charge.

Then we go home and eat something and take a nap. then do whatever we want.

it’s very nice. it’s really a day off.

How has your relationship with God changed since you stopped working
as official pastors?

Jim: Umm… I think it is better than ever.

Tammy: I had to adjust to not doing stuff for God in order to feel like he loved me. It took a few years to get to that point, and it was gradual. But I think I got the message …

What do you think your relationship with God would be like if you were still a pastor?

Jim: Hard to say but I have no desire to find out.

Tammy: I’d be pretty angry at the church, because of that long list above of what I didn’t like about it. So that anger would probably have transferred to God by now.

When and where do you feel the closest to God?

Jim: Talking with friends and family while sharing a good brew.

Tammy: Last night we sat around a table in a nice barn where a friend was painting a wall and another friend was telling us all about his life. the evening flew by and i felt God doing things in me that i haven’t felt in a while. It was so good for me that i slept better last night than I have for weeks. It was as if the stress fell away in layers, as we talked about the stuff that makes up the real parts of life.

these kinds of interactions make me a lot closer to God than church does. but i still love the social aspect of church. It just isn’t as personal for me anymore.

What advice would you give to anyone reading this that is sick of religion but doesn’t want to give up on their relationship with God?

Jim: God is still God and you will still be you … just the sick part will be gone … what is there to fear?

Tammy: Find a few friends who understand how you feel about God and the church.Then do fun stuff with those friends. dont’ feel like you need to have a small group or bible study or anything. in fact – that will be harmful at
this stage of the journey. just have fun together. God will show up in that stuff.

What do you think God will say to you when you show up at heaven’s front door?

Jim: Let me direct you to the finest brewery in the universe and lets have a long long long talk and enjoy the scenery together.

Tammy: I have no idea. i hope he thinks i’ve made some difference in this world, in that i’ve brought some good things to a place that can be so sad and full of suffering. my goal is to make a difference in this world before i die, even if it’s a small difference.

Do you have anything else to add?

Jim: Life is short … then you die … then you find out what eternity is really like … so do your best to love those in you life as well as life itself for the short time we all have here together … run from those who bind you and run with those who free you … drink and eat and play often.

Tammy: I’m a more balanced and normal and approachable person since leaving the formal ministry. i’d say i am much more effective as a minister since i’m not a formal one. people are willing to talk to me about spiritual things
all the time now, and i think it’s partly because i have less opinions about what the right answer might be, but also because they do not perceive that i am trying to recruit them to join my group.

(Jim and Tammy originally posted this interview on www.theooze.com )