Letters From Leavers

Well, thank you for caring enough to get this input from those that have left a church. We were at the same church for 35 years and thought of it as home and would never leave. Both of our sons were baptized there and one was married there. But alas, we finally left over two years ago. We searched around for another spiritual home and after several tries for a comfort zone, we found it. We are now very happy in a church nearby of the same denomination.

Our old church started disregarding the congregation and the pastor spoke down to us rather than teach us. He got very political and when folks didn’t feel the same way he did, he would disregard them and ignore them on campus. Very childish and arrogant behavior. When anyone had a differing opinion, he said “maybe God is telling you to leave” and come to find out he told lots of others the exact same thing. We were very involved in the church in various ways. My husband was a former consistory member and a real leader not only in the church but in the area. I was involved in numerous committees and we both were former Sunday School teachers.

I guess the saddest part is that our relationship with this pastor affected our relationship with God. It took us a while to realize that we were falling out of the habit of going to church because of him. He actually was filtering us from God. I offered to do FREE focus groups so that someone would pay attention to all those that were leaving (this is my profession). I did a series of four focus groups with all reaching almost exactly the same opinions and nothing was done about it. It wasn’t even until I mentioned too a friend who was on the consistory that they were shared with them. Basically we let him rule the church in his way and not what the greater congregation wanted. Sadly the church is now a shadow of itself with families of four generations there who have now left. Financially it is in tight straights.

Thank God, we found a great church and now remember what joy in celebration is. The services are alive and personalities never factor in. We are at the right place because if we had stayed at our old church we would not be attending at all.

Makes me feel better to get this off my chest. I wish someone would listen when an individual destroys a wonderful church.