Letters From Leavers

My faith is bigger than the church … that is why i choose to move on to another church and not out of Christianity.

It is difficult to change churches.  The church body becomes a community of people who know you and care about you.  And vice versa.  It is the “family of God”.   I have chosen churches based on where I feel comfortable with the congregation around me.  The pastors need to be God-fearing — but I don’t need to believe in everything they teach, nor do I need to believe in everything the doctrine of the church believes.  Sometimes this leaves me feeling less than inspired as I leave a church service — but then I get to the fellowship patio and see the people I care about — and I remember why I’m there. 

My faith is not “rocked” by differences in beliefs.  I need the basics of Christianity to be present.  (that can be interpreted differently by anyone — and that’s not what I’m here to discuss.)  The most recent church we left the pastor was fairly liberal and progressively edging toward a “process theology” which does not stand close to my core beliefs.  I did not argue — I am secure in my beliefs and open to listen.  I did not feel that the pastor, although egotistical, was tyrannical in “making” others believe what he did, theologically.  It was in his “mission for the church” that he began to say “believe my way or get out of the way.”  His underlying mission of the church was to purge from “his” congregation anyone that spoke against him.  He had come into a very conservative church — and the feathers were getting ruffled.  From the moment he came to the church, almost 8 years ago, the church attendance began to drop.  These included people I chose to attend church with — the members of my church family — the people I looked forward to seeing during the fellowship time.  Each year there seemed to be another “issue” that drove people away, with the pastor’s response “don’t let the door hit you on your way out” and “send us a letter letting us know when you change your membership” — ie: we don’t want to pay the denomination for dead weight on our membership roster.  This lack in caring for the individuals in the congregation was my complaint.  There was so much pain generated by the leadership that we were feeling sad all the time.  We were just hanging on because it was “our” church first — before the pastor came with his pruning shears.  We had a great Sunday School class — we were some of the main volunteers at the church — many served as elders and deacons — our children were involved.  We didn’t want to go.  But we couldn’t stay with all the pain of continually watching people leave and seeing the skeleton of the church it once was.  We decided to give the pastor “his” church — and get out of his way.  We still love the church for what it was and what it can be.  We pray for its success — even with the current pastor.  I believe that God is in control of His Kingdom.  We gave it 8 years of “hanging in there” — and feel okay in moving on.  We did not talk to anyone in leadership that we were going — nor did they call if they noticed — this is a bit sad.  But I hardly care — it was par for the course.  We also make it a point not to publicly put down the church outside our close circle of supportive friends who knew our struggle in deciding to leave.

We are blessed with loving our new church.  Although it is a huge church in comparison to our old church, many of our previous friends attend here as well.  The teaching is very exciting!  The spirit of excitement it uplifting!  We feel renewed and refreshed.  I call it “my” church — but my heart is not as invested as it was at my previous church.  That will come with time.  God is good.