Letters From Leavers

I joined this group because I wanted to change the world. I was religious to some extent, but here was a group of people that were going everywhere, even to Mongolia to spread the Gospel. It was fun for a while. Sure, we were called a cult by some, but we were baptizing people all over the world. I thought to myself, “who can argue with that?”

Soon, I became the one that could argue with it.

About four years ago, a mid-level leader wrote an open letter to the major leadership that was leaked to the internet. Many reacted with joy that certain unspoken thoughts and attitudes were made public. Many others reacted by pretending that the letter did not exist. Still others decried the letter because of some perceived ‘negativity’ and ’slander’. As for me, I hoped it could serve as a roadmap for change. I embraced its message and acted on what I perceived to be a God-given opportunity to help those harmed by our destructive practices.

At the point this letter emerged, I had recently moved away from the local church I attended for 10 years. I moved, by my own choice, to a city where I didn’t know a soul. My former congregation was over 1000, this congregation was barely 100. It seemed that most families were founding members of the church when it was planted 60 miles west of it’s current location. As far as my own participation, the letter changed my status from member to staff. My vote, I was elected to a new board to oversee our transition from our old practices into what we hoped would be a more Godly way of life.

The old structure was a hierarchy - the man on top dictated to everyone below. Information rushed down the pyramid like a river with very little bubbling up from the ground. The immediate fallout of this letter was that our founder and leader was fired. Soon, those at a leadership level just below him dismantled their group and the leadership level just below them dissolved itself as well. Still, those in the highest levels still held great influence over congregations worldwide, especially outside the US. As someone dedicated to change, I went to a meeting which would have many of the highest-ranking leaders in attendance. Even our deposed leader would be there. I hoped to talk to many of them to see how we would change and to seek help in overseeing the process in my local congregation.

What I encountered was great resistance to new ideas. Speaker after speaker spoke of control, order, peace, and being nice to each other. One or two speakers from outside the US even rebuked the Americans as giving up on evangelizing the world in one generation. The leader of our denominational charity berated us for weakening and disappearing contributions. A few spoke of change, but I got the feeling that they were deliberately trying to avoid speaking plainly. I was embarrassed to have attended.

Over the years since that day, the message of many of the speakers is still being preached. Take control of your congregation, eliminate those that disturb the order, create peace by uniformity, and above all else, just be nice to each other. The deposed founder has founded a new group. The former tier two leaders have tried to enforce a worldwide unity by making people sign a document that spells out doctrines and practices for all. We still perceive ourselves as the only denomination going to Heaven. We still blame the messenger for the ‘firestorm’ generating by the letter (even comparing the author to O’Leary’s cow). I was asked to be a deacon by the congregation, but turned it down because I wanted to focus on my upcoming marriage.

One positive from all of this was the change to make peace with those people that I perceived had personally hurt me. I also sought those that I had personally harmed. With person after person there were tears, prayers, and embraces. In the end, I feel that there was only one with whom I could not be resolved. To this day, he still claims that he did nothing wrong and that a vocal minority that was allowed to much voice caused his termination. (He quit and demanded a severance. He wasn’t terminated.)

I left because we did not change. We said many of the right things only to return to our former practices. In my time in the church, I saw verbal abuse on a scale that is frightening. We bought into a system that made us all codependent on each other and completely dependent on the leaders. Few seem willing to address these issues - those that do try to ‘work behind the scenes’ . I spent four years speaking to major and minor leaders, going to ‘progressive’ seminars, even blogging to no avail. The time for us to make any real changes has past and it is very sad.

We formed a new structure with a committee of nine overseeing our denominations’ transition. This group of nine included several tier two leaders from the old structure. They invited input and mulled over the direction of our denomination for months. In the end, the decision was to form something very similar to what we had before. There were no new voices in the new structures formed and biennial elections insured that no new faces would emerge for the next 20 years. The old voices began to say many of the old things. One of these old voices said on his congregation’s website that dissent was sin. Many voices old and new began publicly chided dissenters to ‘move on’. Sermons were delivered that basically said that a few months was too long to ‘naval-gaze’ and ‘analyze’. Quick action was called for and delivered. It was clearly time to ‘get back to the mission’ and all other matters were swept under the rug.

There is more here than can be written briefly. In the end, I realized that we were a cult. We have destroyed the lives of thousands of people and we refuse to deal with it. Those that have been damaged are cast aside. Their needs are perceived to be too much of a drain on the church’s resources. I couldn’t take it anymore so I asked to be considered a nonmember.

I still attend the local congregation here. Enough progress was made here to feel safe for the time being. Truth is, my family needs the stability of familiar faces right now. The local congregation has gone out of its way to meet our needs and I am grateful. If we hadn’t signed on to our denomination’s creed, I would still be a member. Our creed confuses doctrine and practice to a point that there is no such thing as a disputable matter, effectively eliminating Romans 14. In any case, the local congregation reaches out to other congregations in the city and continues to strive for real and lasting change.

All is not perfect. Our congregation still participates in our denomination’s regional meetings and summer camps. These summer camps still feature many of the old teachings and methodologies that harmed so many. My children will not be attending these camps. My wife and I will not attend the regional Jubilees or marriage retreats. Being on the outside reveals to me how bizarre and strange our meetings truly are. It’s not just the groupthink, but it’s that along with the old ways.

I tried to avoid naming the denomination, but I have to. Avoid the International Churches of Christ at all costs. Really really stay away from the Portland Discipling Movement, the new group formed by the former leaders of the ICoC. The new group is more dangerous. These are not to be confused with churches of Christ. Both groups have a peverse form of shepherding that they call discipling or mentoring. It involves one member coaching another member on their Christian walk, which is not necessarily a bad thing. As practiced by both groups, this form of discipling makes members codependent on each other and completely dependent on leadership. This distinctive form of discipleship also forms the dangerous belief that they are the only denomination going to Heaven. It is reasoned that because ‘other churches’ do not disciple their members as directed in Matt 28:18-20, the other churches must be ‘lost’.

destructive practices, fallout, leadership level, unspoken thoughts